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A joke about a male bus passenger insulting a woman's ugly baby has been hailed in a survey as the funniest gag ever.Researchers scoured the web and examined more than 1,000 jokes before whittling them down to a final 50 on which 36,000 people voted.In a similar vein, John Aubrey's Brief Lives recounts of Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford that: "The Earle of Oxford, making his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travell, 7 yeares.Upon his return home, the Queen greeted him, reportedly saying "My Lord, I had forgot the Fart." One of the most celebrated incidents of flatulence humor in early English literature is in The Miller's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer, which dates from the 14th century; The Summoner's Tale has another. A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo. Q: What does your girlfriend and a condom got in common? The first one I called 7 Up, because he had 7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. And the rich man says "I'm getting her a diamond ring and a Marcedes." "Why both? And the rich man says "That way if she doesn't like the ring she can still enjoy the Marcedes when she returns the ring." And then the rich man asks the poor man "What are you getting your girlfriend? Since no one was around for miles Marie called a hospital and told the doctor "Quick Quick I need your help my boyfriend got bit by a snake on his penis" The doctor told her "Maam your gonna have to suck the venom out yourself" Marie asked "Please doctor there has to be another way to get rid of the venom" The doctor says "Sorry theres nothing we can do" So Marie goes running to her boyfriend When she gets there Jay says with pain "So what did the doctor say? Do you know how to tell if your girlfriend is geting fat? The world thinnest book has only one word written in it : EVERYTHING. If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.... Boyfriend: Dear do you know that exams are like girlfriend? Boyfriend: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.. That night, she wrote in her diary, "There comes a time when even the best of friends must part." Snake Venom One day a happy couple Jay and Marie were walking down the forest when suddenly a giant snake jumped on Jay's leg and bit his dick.
We're never going back to that restaurant anyway." Bob was in trouble. " The next morning he got up early and left for work.
" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean? " So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!
" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK? " His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family." A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.
When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?
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I think I have made a mess of myself." In the translated version of Penguin's 1001 Arabian Nights Tales, a story entitled "The Historic Fart" tells of a man who flees his country from the sheer embarrassment of farting at his wedding, only to return ten years later to discover that his fart had become so famous, that people used the anniversary of its occurrence to date other events.